Over 40, smarting, and getting wiser
amended and reposted 10-28-2007 11:21 p.m.
original posted 6-21-2007, 3:44 am

 
[Note: Since this essay was written, The Starter Wife garnered an Emmy and 10 nominations in all; the award and the response to the program was encouraging enough to USA Network that it decided to turn the mini-series into a regular series for next season. Just when I was ready to start watching again … ]

Hollywood seems to be throwing women over 40 a bone at the moment. But only that much, if indeed that much. The more I consider it, the more it seems to me that popular culture is really patronizing and insulting us, possibly mocking us, too, while playing to our worst fears. None of which is particularly helpful. Or funny.

The first clue I got was the premiere of a new summer mini-series on cable called The Starter Wife. Now there’s a term that makes any woman decidedly uncomfortable: a label for a woman who’s been had by the jerk she was married to when he decided to trade up for a younger, prettier model, as if he were changing cars to reflect career advancement or a more affluent lifestyle. Ouch. It smarts every time you hear the term. We all want to avoid being that woman, and we all privately have at least a tiny doubt that we really could, if push came to shove: how do you ever know for sure, when you’re hopeful and taking those blessed vows, that the guy you’re marrying won’t one day turn into exactly that kind of jerk?